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MY CONFESSION...


My name is Bennie and I took a break from doing what I love...


2021 was a really rough year for me. I had just finished school the year prior and had to finally start figuring out my life and of course, making money. I made mistakes upon mistakes until I got tired of making them and decided to just pause.


God had been speaking to me all this while, but one day, I got angry enough to listen and that was when I started my blog. It was a blessing I never even knew I needed. He had been leading me all this while, even when I hadn't realized it yet. Writing and YouTubing brought me so much satisfaction, I could not imagine how it never occurred to me that I would love this. Things had finally started to make sense.


Then time went by and I began posting, but I told myself to leave God out of my content. You see, I am the lead steward of a ministry, and all I ever talk about there is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus... I felt like I was already doing my assignment and there was no need to let people know my connection to Him on the blog. How silly of me!


When life got overwhelming and I was not seeing the growth I thought I'd see as fast as I wanted to see it, the only lamb that got sacrificed was the one I took Jesus out of- my blog. "I had failed yet again" or so I thought.


During my break, God started speaking to me: "You are taking me out of something I gave to you!"

I replied: "God, I did not want to over-spiritualize my blog. I did not want to appear too Christian. This was meant to be my business and not a missions field."

He responded: "You once wrote about authenticity. If you leave Me out of your content, you're not being your authentic self. You are the girl who loves to talk about Jesus; that is a huge part of your identity. Who are you really pleasing when you leave out who makes you YOU!"


I cried. He was right. I had sacrificed my authentic self just to seem relatable.


I decided, that when I did come back, I would do things differently. I would be my authentic, work-in-progress self.


Yes! I am the girl who loves to talk about God,

Yes! I am the girl who sees the beauty in imperfection,

Yes! I am the girl who's still figuring things out...


But, I'm Daddy's girl; and as long as Abba keeps leading me, I know the future is bright. He is the most beautiful part of my life, every aspect of my life I leave Him out of dies. He is everything to me, and even more perplexing, He wants to be involved in the seemingly insignificant aspects of my life. I've let Him in and guess what, it's better with Him... Everything is better with Jesus!


My name is Bennie, and I'm the girl Jesus loves!

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