"Are you okay?" Have you ever asked this question to others and genuinely meant it? I have. There’s this culture or would I say habit that has been ingrained in us youths for a while now and that’s asking questions we genuinely don’t want to know the answers to. For example, typically when you see someone, you’re most likely going to say:
“Heyyyy so and so”
So and So responds with an overly optimistic hey back subconsciously trying to convince you that they are excited to see you even if they may not be… and then you revert back with maybe a “how far na?” or “how are you?” and so and so passively replies “fine”. This happens for one of three reasons:
- So and So did not feel like the person who asked the question actually wanted to know the answer to that question,
- So and so just replied out of habit without really processing whether or not they really are fine,
- So and so was honestly really FINE.
There’s something I found myself doing recently and that’s confronting my feelings. So, when I get irritable or angry or feel uneasy, I stop and try to think about why I’m feeling that way and once I can trace the source of that emotion, I give reasons to myself as to why I shouldn’t be feeling that way or I take steps to talk to who or talk about what is responsible for my feeling that way. I may also do or undo what needs to be done or undone if that is what the situation calls for, but in summary, I’m trying to no longer be passive about my feelings. There’s a popular saying that doing something over and over again but expecting a different result is foolishness. If you fall under the first 2 categories, I’d like to challenge you this week to try something different and see if it gives you different outcomes.